I Am Perfect Right Now, and Tomorrow I Will Be Even More Perfect!

The idea of being on a spiritual journey is a misnomer. If one thinks of spiritual growth as a journey with a destination it means who and where you are at this moment is not good enough. This belief leads to a search for answers at a destination other than in the present moment and the present place. 

Believing that I'm on a spiritual journey has caused me to strive to be different than who I am. It has led me to look outside myself for answers. It has given me the feeling that who and where I am right now is not good enough. It has been the source of much dissatisfaction and self-critical thoughts. 

When my soul took on this body in this lifetime, I was given everything I needed to lead the spiritual life I was meant for. Over the years, that spirit became covered with layers of worldly concerns. I began to doubt my basic goodness. I compared myself with others in an attempt to prove to myself that I was worthy, but of course I always came up short. I forgot that I was already perfect. I had to learn to uncover what had become buried and hidden from view. Who and where I am right now is exactly what I am meant to be. This IS my destination. It IS the place where I am to learn and live. 

Real spiritual growth comes not by seeking and striving to be better but by relaxing the competitive, judgmental nature. Meditation and/or contemplation reveals the spirit within. We get to truly know ourselves. We not only know all facets of our personality, but we learn to accept and genuinely like ourselves. We discover that we already have the wisdom and basic goodness we need to live the fulfilling compassionate life we are meant to live. This is the first step toward compassionate wisdom, knowing our faults as well as our strengths and liking who we are anyway. If we can do that for ourselves, we can then begin to accept others for who they are. We recognize ourselves in others. 

I just need to remember:
I already have everything I need. There is no place outside myself that I need to reach. The only journey I need to take is the one within that leads me back to myself and my true nature which is love. I am perfect right now, and tomorrow I will be even more perfect!

No Dress Rehearsal

This is it ... the real deal. Your life is not a practice run or a dress rehearsal. Today's performance is the one that counts. You are here to work hard at life, to take it seriously, and be the best you can be. If you want to accomplish greatness, you can't put off until tomorrow the things you know you must do today. Stop making excuses that someday you'll get it right. You can't continue to blame others or your past. Put away those childish excuses. Don't just "try" to do your best, do it! You need to get it right today, right now, and you are the only one that can make it happen.

You came into this lifetime with a purpose. That purpose is known to your higher self. Ask yourself: What kind of individual am I meant to be? If you are meant to be a person of greater integrity, be that person now. If your higher self tells you to be a faithful, honest individual, be trustworthy today, not someday. If you need to be a more mindful and compassionate person, pay attention to people's needs now. If your best self desires a relationship in which both partners love and support one another, be a loving supportive partner to yourself as well as to your partner. If you are here to help create a peaceful world, you must look at your current thoughts and actions and ask yourself if what you say and do promotes peace. If not, change your attitude and behavior. With sincere effort, you'll become the person you know you were meant to become in this lifetime.

You are not here on earth to float along with ease. You are here to learn the hard lessons that help you become the best person you can possibly be. No one promised that it would be easy, but I can promise you that it is worth it. You can be the bright star that lights the way for others.

The Blessing of Uncertainty

I don't know. These three words freed me from a self-imposed prison of cleverness. I don't know allowed me to find humility and liberation.

I used to have the reasons, explanations, and solutions to most problems. When asked a question, I usually knew the answer, but if I didn't I kept quiet about it. It all began when I was a child.

I used to feel proud of the ability to be a good student. In school I almost always knew the answer the teacher wanted when she asked a question. Even though I was shy and didn't raise my hand to answer very often, there was a feeling of satisfaction when another student verbalized the answer I was saying to myself. This continued all the way through college. I rarely had to admit that I don't know.

Consequently, as an adult, I was under the impression that I had to know the answer to whatever topic was being discussed and especially about life's problems. I've known other bright people who also carry this burden of needing to have an answer. It seems that our ego is wrapped up in knowing. We feel deficient if we can't be an authority on a topic. We have the false belief that smart people have answers to all problems and if we don't have an answer, we must not be that smart. If I ranked myself among the smart ones, then I too must have answers. I had not developed the skill of not knowing. I had not learned to admit to myself or anyone else that I don't know the answer.

It's in the last decade that I have felt the freedom to admit that there are many, many things that I don't know. As a matter of fact, I don't know most things. Instead of frantically searching for an answer that sounds plausible, I now simply say "Hmmm, I don't know." It doesn't mean I am not interested or don't want to know. It simply means I don't have the answer. Usually I find myself googling the topic out of curiosity, but those three words I don't know free me from the pressure of having to answer a question I really don't know enough about to have an opinion or a solution.

The more I learn and the older I get, the more I see that I really don't know or understand much about life. I don't know the answers to the most important questions. Why am I here? Who am I? Where do we go when we leave this life?

It's okay that I don't know the answers to life's biggest questions. It's freeing to not have to know. It allows me to look at the world with curiosity. I can awaken each morning with a child-like wonder about the world and think, "I wonder what I'll learn about life today?"

Connecting with My Mother

Today I had a joyful meditation in which my mother joined me in a beautiful wooded garden. This garden is my sacred place that I enter during meditation when I wish to feel the unconditional love of my spirit guide Michael or when I have questions that require his advice. He doesn't always appear. It's not like he is at my beck and call, but he usually joins me in this garden. In my book More Than a Whisper I describe the meditation that brings my consciousness to this quiet space in a beautiful garden by a river. After walking along the wooded path, I sit on a wide flat rock at the edge of the river listening to a waterfall that is just out of sight upriver behind me and to the right. Michael generally appears near me, sometimes with a message but usually just as an ever-loving presence.

This time when I meandered through the garden I noticed a marble bench that I don't remember seeing there before. I decided to sit down in the center of the bench and wait to see what would happen. Michael appeared with his quiet, compassionate demeanor but he didn't sit. He stood to my right at the edge of the bench. After a few minutes a woman that I recognized as my mother who departed fourteen years ago walked up the path and stood in front of me. She appeared healthy and looked to be in her forties. She was quiet and serious with only the slightest smile on her smooth-skinned face. Then she sat next to me on the bench between me and Michael. She slipped her arm around my back and placed her left hand on my left shoulder. She rested her arm across my shoulders in a comforting, friendly manner. We sat side by side like this for a few minutes.

In the years since my mother's death I have only had two indirect communications from her. My father and my son have frequently visited me in dreams, through visions, and during meditation, but this was the first time I had an opportunity to visit with my mother. I decided to ask her the question I longed to ask her before she suffered the stroke that led to her death. I asked, "Mom, why didn't you love me when I was a child?" She took her hand from my shoulder, slid it down my right arm and grasped my hand. We sat for a time with my right hand entwined in her left hand. After a while she said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know how to love. I was afraid, but I do love you." We sat holding hands for a few minutes. There was so much more to say, but I just wanted to enjoy the comfort of her touch. I could feel the warmth of her hand in mine. After a few more minutes she stood up and walked away. I watched her leave without looking back as if there was some place she needed to be. I looked up to Michael who was smiling and looking at me. I thanked him for arranging this meeting between my mother and myself, and I look forward to many more.

Letter to My Mind

Dear Mind,

I have a bone to pick with you. Even though there are times when you've given me good advice, I've noticed a trend that just can't continue. When I am experiencing peace in the present moment, you manage to interfere, bringing with you feelings of judgment and separateness. Sometimes your quiet voice can be ignored, but at times you become louder and louder like an obstreperous child whose temper tantrum cannot be tuned out. You manage to crowd out the joy of a quiet mind with your persistent warnings that life isn't as good as I believe it to be.

Just last week, I was feeling buoyant as I walked along the city streets to meet a friend. I was enjoying the warm late-summer breezes and anticipating a nice meal and great conversation at a brand new restaurant. As I was taking in the scenery along the water of the Puget Sound, I noticed a female about my age sitting on the sidewalk holding a sign asking for help. My first reaction was to reach into my pocket and with compassion give her a few dollars. But then you chimed in. You interrupted my feelings of kindness with warnings of danger. Before I could reach into my purse, I heard you say, "What if other needy people see you giving this woman a handout? They'll want money too. You'll be surrounded by people asking for help. You can't give to all of them. What if they become upset with you for helping her and not them? You're a woman walking the city streets alone. It's dangerous to give her money." By then I had walked past this woman, but my peaceful walk in the beautiful city had been ruined. It had been replaced with feelings of judgment and guilt. I was judging myself as foolish for choosing to walk the few miles to the restaurant rather than taking safe available transportation, and I was feeling guilt for being a selfish individual who had enough money to go out to dinner in a nice restaurant but didn't help someone in need.

Because of you, Mind, I changed the way I saw myself and everyone around me. In the beginning, I was a bright spirit taking in the joys of the day among lovely people along the waterfront of my favorite city. But then, you took over and I became a selfish woman who didn't have the sense to protect herself in a dangerous world. Why did I give you that kind of power...again? Why did I get into a dialogue with you...again? I've practiced meditation and mindfulness for years. And yet, you were still able to engage me in one of your tirades.

Here's my warning to you, Mind. My intention is to silence you. Each time you speak up I intend to see you for what you are, just a producer of emotional stories that disrupt my peace and harmony. I choose to experience compassion and love with my fellow beings. I can't do that with your judgmental voice of doom. You'll just have to go! Sayonara!

Finding Our Greatness

Change is inevitable, and along with change comes loss. We lament over the changes we see in the mirror. Our hair grows thinner, our skin is not as taut, our energy level begins to wane. Our heart aches when we lose family and friends due to illness, accidents, and injury. We mourn the losses we see all around us.

But there is one part of us that doesn't change and we never lose it. It remains strong and steady. That is our Higher Self. Some refer to this as the conscience or intuition, but it is more than that.

When we get to know this part of ourselves, we realize it is the real essence of who we are. It is the unshakeable nugget of strength and knowing, and it is our connection to the universe.

It's so easy to get caught up in temporary distractions, especially in our fast-paced entertainment-oriented society. We don't take much time to sit in silence and reconnect with that stillness inside ourselves.

Looking within can be daunting. We might be frightened by what we find. What if we are not the person we think we are? Maybe there are unresolved issues that we need to address. Maybe there is pain inside that we don't want to acknowledge. We fear that if we see something inside ourselves that we don't like, we might have to do something about it. So, our thinking is that we just don't want to know. 

We avoid the unpleasant things in life. But it is in those unpleasant places where there is an ache or a twinge of anxiety that we begin to find out who we really are. It is true that when we visit these places we will find things that we don't like, but we will also find that under all the fear there is a love and a sweetness. This is our basic goodness that we all possess. It is where we are still the child with hopes and dreams. It is a place that the cynicism of today's world hasn't touched. It is that kernel of unending strength that carries us forward in times of suffering. It is our greatness. 

Noticing the Silver Lining

"It is a choice whether I see the clouds or the break in the clouds."

In More Than a Whisper I speak of the moment I realized that the universe is always looking out for me. All I have to do is look for the silver lining, and it will always be there.

There are times when it doesn't seem as though the universe has a plan, but if I pay attention and look for the bright spot in the bleak sky I will see the signs of hope. Those signs might be a synchronicity such as the young man who suddenly appeared on a hiking trail with a timely message for my partner. Or, the universe might send help from a deceased loved one, such as the time my grandmother in heaven came through to a medium after my son's death. The medium was speaking at a dinner attended by my cousin. My grandmother wanted my cousin to tell me that my son in heaven was okay.

Keeping my mind and heart open to the hope in the world allows me to see the basic goodness in all people. Then, the universe can do its work, bringing me wisdom and strength to carry on with my work here in this lifetime.

"Life Without Cause is a Life Without Effect"

This quote from Paulo Coelho's book Aleph struck me when I read it. I found myself rereading that sentence until it found its way into that place in my heart where I knew what he meant as if I had said it.

Coelho expressed the passion I have deep in my soul to make a difference, however subtle, during this lifetime. It is the reason why I find myself restless when I am not actively growing in my spiritual life. And, it's the reason I find myself in despair when I slip back into my less-than-loving or less-than-peaceful habitual patterns. Living a life WITH cause is the fuel that ignites my sense of urgency to fulfill my purpose.

There are people who are here to BE a mirror to others. That is their purpose and for them I am grateful, for I have learned much from them. People have come into my life who have shown me my errors by reflecting them back to me. Without their willingness to allow me to see myself in them I would not have grown.

My outer purpose in this lifetime is to teach actively, Be-ing and DO-ing. When I taught elementary school, I didn't teach math, reading, and writing. That was the curriculum, and I followed it to the letter, but I taught love, respect, and acceptance to my students. Since retiring from teaching public school I have found that the world has become my classroom. But in order to teach love, respect, and acceptance, I must attain my inner purpose which is to become loving, respectful and accepting at all times. This is the only way I can make a difference in my own soul's development and bring peace and love to the world. This is the CAUSE in my life. I pray that it has an EFFECT.

The Price of Wisdom

One of my favorite quotes is Maya Angelou's which says, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I've been thinking about the implications of "knowing better."


When we are young and carefree, we act and react without much thought. We respond to the outer world from an egocentric point of view. We are the center of our universe and we react to situations from the perspective of how it affects us. People understand that we are young (and often foolish), and give us some leeway when we make mistakes. But, there comes a time when we become more mindful of the effect our decisions have on the future of ourselves and on others.


We are all interconnected and every action we make affects not only ourselves, but each other and everyone else in some way. The effect might be great or very minute, but nonetheless, there is an effect. Knowing this makes us far more hesitant to make choices willy-nilly. We understand the seriousness of our actions. It causes us to weigh our reactions carefully before executing them. Knowing the seriousness of our actions brings with it the responsibility to make choices that are for the common good.


As we experience life, we endure sorrows and loss. Unfortunate, painful things happen to all of us, and when we lean into those things as a learning tool those experiences can become a gateway to new understanding. That new understanding is the "knowing better" that Maya Angelou speaks of. It is the wisdom that requires that we "do better" for ourselves and all other living things.

The Responsibility of Knowing Better

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”  - Maya Angelou

This quote from Dr. Maya Angelou has allowed me to look at myself and others through the eyes of compassion. It  has also eliminated the excuse of ignorance and laid upon me a deeper responsibility for my actions. 

We all make mistakes based on ignorance, especially when we're young or just too busy to think about the longterm consequences of our actions. Sometimes we make the same mistake more than once. But, eventually we must make time to reflect on our actions, so we might learn from those mistakes. When we do, we will know better! 

Knowing better eliminates the excuses we tell ourselves when we flub up. We can no longer deny that we didn't know what we were doing. We must take the responsibility for our actions and the hurt we have caused others. We must promise ourselves to do better! We must live with integrity! 

Meditation When You're Too Busy to Sit

Each day I make time to connect with the divine in me during meditation. It calms me, so I can remember my purpose and my intention to live from my higher self. But, there are times when I find it difficult to sit still and watch my breath, or I just can't find the time in a busy day. Sometimes I am plagued by the "monkey mind" when a never-ending stream of mundane thoughts float in and out of my brain. When this happens, I don't need to sit cross-legged on a cushion to reap the benefits of meditation. I can turn to movement as my meditation. 

Any movement can become a meditation, such as taking a short walk in the garden or around the block, stretching on the yoga mat, or doing household chores. As I water the plants in the garden, I remind myself to notice the sensation of the air on my face, the smell of the plants around me, the sound of the birds and other outdoor creatures, the texture of the leaves and flower petals, and the warmth of the sun-drenched tomato. When I walk, I pay attention to the sensations in my body like the pressure on the ball of my foot as it touches the ground. My favorite movement meditation is when I'm stretching during yoga exercises. It is the perfect opportunity to go inward and connect with my body and mind. 

Any household chore can become a meditation. While I'm doing dishes, I notice the slipperiness of the soap as my hands slide across the dish. I notice the heaviness of a platter or the delicate pattern of a teacup. Making the bed can be done in the same way. When I go about my tasks in a mindful, fully present manner, the chores almost become a delight.  Any chore can be turned into an opportunity to breathe deeply, be present, and connect with the body and the world around me.

By using movement and daily tasks as avenues into the meditative state, I can connect with my higher self numerous times during the day. My mindful self is only a breath away. 

Finding Grace

A quote from More Than a Whisper: One Woman's Journey Through Pain to Grace

Shenpa - Triggers that Close the Heart

I've been reading a book by Pema Chodron in which she speaks of those twinges that we feel when someone gives us a certain look or says a certain word that makes our bile rise. She calls them by the Tibetan word "shenpa" which means attachment. It might also be called "getting hooked." Shenpa occurs when there's a stimulus that triggers something from our past that was negative and we have not let it go. It is like a thorn that we have not yet removed. We are still carrying the hurt or anger we felt when it first happened. We are unaware that we're carrying it until that specific word or action is repeated, and then it all comes flooding back. Often, the person who has triggered it had no intention of upsetting us.

In my own case, my shenpa rises to the bait when I feel that my independence is being threatened. I can feel my stomach and throat tighten when someone tries to help me without asking me first if I want or need help. I know the person is only trying to be kind, but my shenpa has been triggered. I want to bluntly say, I can do it myself! and then proceed to show them that I don't need their help. Because I know that this is just a reaction from the past, I have to give the feeling a few seconds to recede, and then I can accept the other person's offer or decline politely.

When beginning to work with one's own shenpa, it is often easier to see someone else's shenpa first. It might be a tightening of the jaw, a narrowing of the eyes, a pulling back, or a sudden silence. Because of something you said or did, they are no longer open to you and your ideas. You may or may not know what it was that triggered their aversion, but it is best to leave it alone. You are working on recognizing and calming the shenpa that arises in you, not them.

Try watching your own reactions when you interact with others. Is there a certain word, facial expression, or tone of voice that opens an old wound? You don't have to understand the origin of the wound. Just know that it is there, and that it doesn't have to be strengthened by feeding it with your habitual reaction. Instead, allow the feeling to be there with you as its witness. It will soon evaporate, and you can carry on with an open heart!

Total Surrender Parts the Veil

One month before my son left his body, the veil between this physical world and the spirit world parted. I caught glimpses of the world that had been present but hidden from my earthly senses.

After many months of trying to control the outcome of my son's illness, I completely surrendered and the spirit world became visible.

This morning I was reminded of that time when I was listening to Ram Dass speak about the stages of our journey in this life. He spoke of eventually reaching the stage when we must surrender. That time usually happens when we experience great loss. It might be the death of a loved one or our own impending death.

When Ram Dass spoke of surrender, he made the distinction between wanting to surrender and actual surrender. There is a difference. We can want to surrender, and we can try to surrender, but it is only when we relinquish all desire to control or to surrender and just do it that the veil moves aside. For me it was when I had no other choice. I no longer had the energy or the will to fight the inevitable death of my son. I fell into total surrender.

That surrender put me into a state in which I became an observer of life, both of this world and the spirit world. This lasted for a couple years. I saw, felt, and heard much more than I had ever suspected was around me. In addition to lucid dreams, I had several moments a day when I caught glimpses of spirits who were protecting me and guiding me through my grief. I heard the voices of my guide and my departed loved ones, giving me guidance by implanting words into my consciousness. I felt the loving touch of my son and my guides.

I speak of this in detail in my book More Than a Whisper: A Woman's Journey Through Pain to Grace published by Balboa Press. The grace I speak of in the title came about because of the glimpses behind the veil that changed my view of life and my purpose for being on earth at this time. My complete surrender brought about the gift of insight that carried me through those dark days.

In the World, but Not Of the World

How does one live in this world and still maintain a connection with the Higher Self without being labeled a "party pooper" or a "wet blanket"?

We just had a big Fourth of July holiday weekend which translates into lots of family, friends, food, and celebration! I love being with my family, but my Buddhist tendencies cause conflicting feelings about the wastefulness of food and the assault on nature with the explosion of fireworks.

I live where sea life abounds. When the taking of that sea life is allowed, there's a feeding frenzy. Boatloads of fishermen descend upon the waters dropping their traps with the intention of capturing far more seafood than their group can devour. I enjoy the flavor of the delicacies from the sea as well as anyone else, but how do I resolve the conflict between my vow to "do no harm" and cooking a dozen beautiful dungeness crab that my family has just pulled from the water? My heart is torn between seeing my family enjoy their bounty and watching many lives die when there's already a refrigerator full of fresh food.

Living along the water also means that we have many species of shore birds that entertain us with their chatter, diving skills, and playful antics. The beach and air are clean all year, except on busy holiday weekends. This is when the noise scares the birds out of their treetop resting places and the smoke in the air from exploded fireworks makes the beautiful trees just a hazy memory. Remnants of these explosions litter the beach, yards, and water. Why do we feel that this is necessary in order to enjoy a day commemorating our country's independence?

I've chosen to handle these conflicts by giving away much of the extra food that accumulated from the overzealous appetites of my guests and by watching the firework displays without purchasing and setting off any of my own. This might be an adequate solution for the present moment, but it falls short of what my conscience desires. My Higher Self finds this world of material extravagance a difficult place to reside.

The Present is a Gift

The present is a gift that most of us forget to open. In order to be present, we must set aside our worries about tomorrow and our stories from the past. We must open our minds and hearts to the surroundings that are before us right now. Being aware and in touch with the people and things around us requires action. It takes a commitment to hear, see, and feel our connection to the world, making sure we don't get so caught up in one aspect that all else is forgotten. 

When walking in nature it is relatively easy to remain open to all the smells, sounds, and sights. We are able to look at nature with an openness, as if seeing it for the first time. We can take in the grandeur of the trees, the sweet smell of the earth and plants, and the songs of the birds. 

When walking through the forest, we don't judge the trees because the bark of one trunk is rougher or smoother than another. We don't tell the robin that its song is not as musical as the blackbird.  We enjoy the variety of color and shape of the plant leaves without calling one better than another. We accept each part of nature just as it is. 

We are able to quiet the mental chatter that tries to pull us into the past or future. We are in the present moment while walking through a forest or a field of flowers. Our senses are open to taking in all that Mother Nature offers. We are fully available to the present moment. All cares and worries are set aside momentarily while we bask in the bliss of the perfect time that is now.

If we can escape from the judging mind while in nature, it may not be too idealistic to believe we can do the same with people. Perhaps we can see the perfection that each person has within him. We can recognize the basic goodness in each other. We can be present and authentic with our fellow beings.

Our Inner World is Reflected in Our Outer World

People who live in nearly identical circumstances often see the world differently. One places his attention on the things that are wrong, focusing on corruption and violence, agonizing over how the world is a dangerous place. The other person places his attention on the beauty this world offers. He sees through eyes of love and greets each day with hope and curiosity about the wonderful gifts that the universe will present. This person smiles easily and we are drawn to their sunny disposition. Their joy is contagious. These two people are choosing to see the same world through different lenses.

The world is only a reflection of what is in each person's heart and mind. If they hold anger and resentment in their heart, they will repeatedly play the story in their head of how unfair life has been to them. The world will appear to be a damaged place full of violent, hateful people. They will experience an oppressive heaviness in their heart and transmit that dark energy to others. If they release those feelings, and make the choice to focus on the beauty in each person, they will begin to live with love, understanding, and compassion. They will begin to see each soul as a person who is trying to do their best in this lifetime.  By doing this, their heart will remain light. They can go about the day, expecting to receive love and compassion from others. Amazingly, that is exactly what they will receive.

The energy we put out into the world is precisely the energy that is reflected back to us.

Heartstroke - A Stroke of the Heart

When we hear of someone who has had a stroke, we traditionally think of the person's brain either drowned in blood from a burst vessel or a blockage that caused a portion of the brain to become starved of blood. The effected area of the brain dies if it doesn't receive nourishing oxygen quickly.

I believe that a person can also experience a stroke of the heart. This can happen when the heart is flooded with overwhelming emotion. The heart begins to shut itself off as a matter of survival.

Intense grief after losing a loved one can overwhelm the heart with emotion. Women who have lost a child often describe their grief as being heartbreaking or heart shattering. It's as though the heart has been torn apart. It feels like it will never heal again, like part of the heart has been suffocated of life-giving energy and has died. Women speak of part of themselves dying along with their child.

When my son passed away, my heart felt as though someone had wrenched it from my body, stomped on it until it was completely crushed, and then tossed it aside. I thought it died along with my son. I thought my heart would never be capable of loving again. I had had a stroke of the heart.

Thankfully, there were people in my life who loved me and gave me life-sustaining support. My heart was able to slowly recover until it functioned on its own again. It will never be the whole heart it once was, but it is a heart that can love again.

Losing My Grip

The phrase "Losing My Grip" has caught my attention lately. I keep turning it over and over in my mind. To me, losing my grip used to mean losing touch with life or reality. It meant losing the ability to control or deal with a situation. There are counseling services for those who feel they must "get a grip." Doctors have medications to help an individual regain control of their reality. Young people tell each other to "get a grip" meaning to keep or regain self-control.

But losing my grip has a different meaning for me as I get older and a little wiser. Now I believe that losing or at least loosening my grip is desirable. Do I really want to hang on tightly to control myself or situations? Control implies effort to restrain myself, my views on life, or to change a situation. I ask myself why I would want to expend the effort to maintain a narrow view of life or life situations. Why would I want to continue to maintain a tight grip on the past or my views of what is right and acceptable?

Couldn't it be beneficial to relax the grip we have on what we think is reality.  And what exactly is reality? Everyone has a different reality based on their experiences and perceptions. Loosening my grip allows me to accept others and their views as possible realities. This broadens my own view of life. It allows me to accept whatever is happening now as being perfect as it is with perfect timing. It allows me to relax and not be so uptight about how things "should" be.

In the poem, "Warning (When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple)," 29 year old Jenny Joseph dreams of an age when she can loosen her grip, when she doesn't have to worry about being an example for the children, and when she no longer must conform to society's expectations. I believe I am approaching the age when I can "begin wearing purple, go out in my slippers in the rain, pick flowers in other people's gardens and learn to spit." I shall lose my grip!

Welcoming Change

Sometimes change happens because you want it and sometimes change happens because you have no choice. Both can motivate you to greatness.

Change is inevitable. Unhappiness happens when you cling to what is, fearing the loss of what is, or wishing that things were different. Your life will change. You can be certain of that. We age, we change jobs, our loved ones pass on, our health eventually deteriorates. These experiences can be dreaded or anticipated with curiosity. 

Viewing change as an opportunity for growth, looking for the experience that the universe is providing, allows us to perceive life as an adventure. We don't have to dread change. We can welcome it. Even when the unthinkable happens, we can allow the changes to take place in us, so we can evolve into the highest expression of ourselves.

My Karma is My Dharma

Ram Dass talks about karma and suffering in many of his talks. He uses the expression "my karma is my dharma. He goes on to explain that life serves us the answers to the questions we are seeking through the experiences we encounter.

On this plane where we are living out this lifetime, there is suffering. That is the first thing Buddha explained when he became awakened. It is true that we all suffer. The nature of our existence here on this earth plane is to learn from our experiences and the most important lessons are learned from experiences that cause us the greatest suffering, such as heartbreak, loss, and illness.

If my karma is my dharma, the teachings (dharma) or experiences that I encounter repeatedly in this lifetime come about because I have yet to learn from them. My suffering (karma) is not a result of transgressions but simply the experiences I need in order to evolve into an expression of  my highest self.

If I am a person who tends to judge others, I will be presented with experiences in which I will suffer from judging others until I internalize the lesson that by judging I am denying the humanness of others and myself. I am pushing people away and avoiding the connection with them. If I am a person who goes about my life in a mindless way, I will experience situations in which my careless unconsciousness causes me physical and/or mental suffering until I learn to be more mindful and deliberate in my actions. 

Life will present me with the experiences that afford the greatest growth. If I view these experiences as an opportunity for growth and learn from them, not just intellectually but at the heart level, I can achieve my potential in this lifetime.

We Are Greater Than Our Story

One of my pet peeves is hearing someone say "I can't" even before they make an honest effort to do something. I've tried to banish that phrase from my own vocabulary, although I'd be the first to tell you I can't carry a tune. The "can'ts" we hang on to are just stories from our past that we keep telling ourselves. We believe the stories, even though they may not be true. These stories limit us. They prevent us from being our authentic self.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to enter the story that plays repeatedly in your head? It's like watching reruns of Seinfeld that just keep playing over and over again. We know the ending but we watch it anyway. We've watched it so many times we can recite the dialogue.

The stories we tell ourselves play over and over again - for years sometimes. These dialogues that go on in our head are the same thoughts we had yesterday...last week...last year...and probably for many years. These may be statements that we make to ourselves that sound like the voices from our childhood. Maybe your mother or father said you were too short to play basketball, so you keep telling yourself you're not big enough or smart enough or good-looking enough. We believe the significant adults in our childhood, even though they may have been wrong or misguided in their comments.

Pay attention to the dialogue that plays in your head, and begin to ask yourself the question, "Is what I'm telling myself really true or is it just a story?" What stories do you tell yourself that aren't true? Then try to interrupt the story before you get completely immersed in it. You are capable of being so much more than what your mind tells you.

Attention, Here and Now

I'm reading Aldous Huxley's book Island that was written in the early 1960s. The book is about a man who is shipwrecked on an island named Pala where mynah birds have been trained to repeatedly say "Attention" and "Here and now." It is a reminder to the citizens of Pala to be mindful and live in the present. This reminder is needed even more today.

Living mindfully is a way of paying attention to the people and task at hand, rather than being lost in thought. When I'm speaking to a person, it is far more enjoyable for both of us if I'm genuinely engaged in the conversation. This means listening to the other person's ideas and giving feedback that is directly related to what the other person has just said, rather than thinking about what I'm going to say next or judging the other person's ideas. If I'm doing a task mindfully, I'm less apt to make mistakes, and I find that I enjoy the task more, even if it's a routine task such as washing dishes or making the bed. I'm focused on what I am doing rather than thinking about all the other things I need to do. It also means NOT multi-tasking. Doing tasks mindfully and one at a time allows me to feel less stressed and chances are I won't have to redo the task because of errors.

Living in the present requires us to put aside our thoughts about the past and our worries about the future. Thinking about the past is not productive unless we are reviewing an experience we've had in order to learn from it and then move on, only remembering the lesson and not rehashing the incident. When we are thinking about the future, we are either looking ahead with dread or with hope. More often than not, the event we are dreading turns out much better than we thought, and our hopes for the future turn out to be not as great as we had hoped which sets us up for more disappointment. This isn't to say that we never plan ahead. We need to set aside some time to set up our budget or plan a trip, but once the plan is made we can return to enjoying the here and now. As Eckhart Tolle says, Nothing happens in the past or in the future. Everything happens in the present.

So, let's make our lives better by paying attention and living in the here and now as they did on Pala in Huxley's Island.

A Sacred Moment

Yesterday I was walking through the forest here in this beautiful Pacific Northwest when I came upon an especially beautiful spot that made me stop.

The feeling was as if someone had tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I am with you." There was a feeling of overwhelming love coming from the canopy of the trees.

I looked up to see layers of maple and cedar branches with necklaces of hanging moss all interwoven to create a roof of variegated green.  Ferns carpeted the floor of this quiet sacred space. The only sounds were that of the birds and insects in the surrounding vegetation.

I stood there for several minutes looking up, not into the canopy, but into my own grateful heart, feeling peace and love pass through me and out into the world.

It's moments such as this that remind me that I am not alone, but guided and protected every step of the way through this lifetime.

An Authentic Life

Authentic means genuine or true to the original. If you are living an authentic life, you're living a genuine life, a life that reflects your true self, that part of you that resides deep inside. Some people call it intuition at soul-level or where ego doesn't influence decisions.

In order to live from that part of you, first you need to become acquainted with it by becoming still and listening to that small voice within. The true self makes decisions that come from the heart ... decisions that are born from love.

Living authentically entails asking yourself "Is this the best decision for all concerned? Is this decision coming from love or fear? Am I making this decision to avoid something, or am I making this decision to bring myself and others closer to our best selves?"

When you live authentically you are making decisions that may be difficult but you know they are right. These are the decisions that require you to take action that you may want to shy away from. Following through on these decisions allows your spirit to become stronger. It brings you peace and the assurance that you have acted from love.

The Open Heart

Living with an open heart is a relatively new feeling for me. Oh, I had had glimpses of it ... that turned into short periods ... which ended up lasting for a few days, but this time I think it has stuck!

When I was teaching I had moments when as I looked out over my class my heart would open, and I would feel an overwhelming love for each and every one of my students. They appeared to me as perfect representations of the Divine. But, as soon as I realized that I was basking in the glow of love, the feeling would dissolve. I'd return to being the teacher that saw their academic and behavioral needs. Those moments of pure love, or bliss, left me wanting more, but I was unsure of how to attain it.

It has been through suffering some great losses and allowing my heart to break open from grief that I found the peace and joy that comes from accepting life as it is at any moment. When I relinquished my control, I found that life is perfect even when it isn't ideal. That perfection includes me and all beings. As Shunryu Suzuki-roshi said, "All of you are perfect just as you are and you could use a little improvement." We are all on the path to becoming our best self, but right now we are exactly where we need to be.

Living with the open heart enables me to see all things with acceptance. There's no need to try to change anything or anyone. In this way, I can relax, feel abundant peace, and enjoy the life around me. I can watch with wonder as life unfolds. It allows me to see the miracles that happen each and every day.

My Life is My Message

This post is named after one of Mahatma Gandhi's great quotes. When a reporter asked Gandhi what his message was, he replied simply ‘My life is my message.‘ There was no distinction between what Gandhi believed, how he lived, and who he was.

Each day when I awake I resolve to convey to the world the peace that resides in my soul and that some of that peace might spill over into other peoples lives. I ask that I be used to bring love and inspiration to everyone I encounter. I ask that I be a role model for peace. This is the message I wish to leave with the world. I hope that my life and my beliefs align with my being.

What is the message you send out into the world?

Would Your Life Be a Hit Movie?

Are you living your life abundantly? By abundance I don't mean a life of wealth or lots of material things. I mean living a full life of experiences that will bring you to a place of peaceful satisfaction and consciousness before you depart this life.

If your life were a movie, would it be a hit movie? Would people want to see it? Would it be interesting, exciting, heartwarming? If not, create your life so that it is. You are the producer, director, choreographer, and star of the movie. You have free reign over the direction your life goes. You make the choices.

Do things that are slightly uncomfortable. Talk to people you wouldn't ordinarily engage in conversation with. Take up an activity that you've always wanted to do but didn't have the courage for. Taking yourself to the edge of your comfort zone will broaden your experiences which in turn broadens your perception of the world. Make your life interesting by living and loving with an open heart and mind. When you're old and looking back on your life, will you be proud of your accomplishments and say, "Wow, that was a great life!" or will you regret the experiences you could have had. You have the choice.

Make your life a movie your family will talk about for a long time!

Acting from Love or Fear?

Several years ago I participated in a week-long retreat in which Gary Zukav taught the spiritual principles he's written about in his book Seat of the Soul. One of the key messages I took away from that retreat is that "all our actions are the result of either love or fear." This sounds too simple, but the more I digested this message and put it to the test, I realized that for me it is true. I can almost always find the source of my actions as originating in love or fear, and sometimes a combination of the two.

For example, yesterday I was helping a friend with some tasks that he needed to complete. My heart was full of love for this friend and love for myself that I was able to help. I felt good helping him accomplish some of the items on his to-do list. Near the end of the day, he was tired and angry that he didn't have more time to complete the tasks. Even though I was tired too, I asked what else I could do to help. I thought I was asking out of love. But with further examination and touching base with the slight pang in the pit of my stomach and the feeling of constriction in my throat, I realized that my love had turned to fear. I am sensitive to an angry tone. It makes me nervous, and out of fear of him becoming more angry I was trying to pacify him. It's only when I got in touch with the sensations in my body that I found out the motivation for my question.

Another example is my daily morning walk. It sounds like that action would be the result of love for  my healthy body and mind. But is it totally out of love? It might be out of fear of becoming sick, debilitated, or overweight. My deepest feelings expose the real motivation. When I don't take my daily walk, I feel guilty. I tell myself a story that I am getting lazy, and that if I don't walk each day I'll age more quickly. I fear aging, so my actions could be out of love for myself and my good health or they could be the result of fear.

Being mindful that my actions can come from either love or fear gives me a way to check on my motivation. I feel peaceful when my motivation is pure love. I feel a connection with the person I'm interacting with. There is no constriction in my stomach, solar plexus or throat. There's a warm glow that fills me with love and peace. I prefer to act out of love!

Transformation

Transformation is happening all around us and within us.

A glimpse

Quick, fleeting but clear

Technicolor

Not a memory

But a sight brand new

A moment of joy that will live forever

For I have seen with my true sight.

From: 

More Than a Whisper: One Woman's Journey Through Pain to Grace 

Direction from the Universe

Peaceful Warrior

Today I feel like a warrior, having to muster the courage to maintain a peaceful inner space despite all the turmoil around me. 

It takes a brave person to accept responsibility and make the choice to refuse to engage in the common everyday acts of war; such as, gossip, sarcasm, or quick flashes of anger. 

It takes courage to offer compassion to someone who may be acting in an unkind way. 

It takes fortitude to stand up for peace during these times of war between men, parties and nations. 

It takes strength of character to see oneself connected to someone who might be thought of as an outcast. 

It takes moral fiber to forgive an individual that acted cruelly out of ignorance, fear, or pain.

It takes valor to confront our own anger and fears in order to soften our heart, when the inclination is to fight back, allowing peace to flourish.

I am a soldier of peace, taking responsibility for my part in spreading harmony throughout this world.

Connecting to Spirit

On this beautiful May morning the sky is bright blue with only a few wispy clouds to remind me that there is life in that sky. The trees are clothed in their robes of varied shades of green. There's a buzz of activity from the insects and the birds are singing their melodies. There's life everywhere, but it's easy to miss when I get wrapped up in the tasks I've put on my to-do list. Each morning, no matter how much I think I need to accomplish that day, a walk in nature has become essential for keeping my inner and outer worlds in balance.

It's so easy to forget that we are one with nature, with all living things. We become sucked into the busyness of our society: the traffic, the news of the day, our electronic devices, and the demands of making a living so we can add to our long list of possessions.

If we merely set aside twenty minutes to walk outside, breathe the fresh clean air, listen to the sounds, and be fully present, we will then connect to spirit, the spirit within ourselves.

Do We Really Want Peace?

If I asked you to make three wishes that would be granted immediately, I can almost guarantee that one of your wishes would be world peace. But, do you truly want peace, or is that what you think you should wish?

When I was teaching fifth and sixth graders, we would often talk about what we could do to make the world a better place. One of the first things that would come up was bringing peace into the world. The students talked about their wish for peace, both in their immediate lives and in the world. They expressed a distaste for war, and they disliked the turmoil in their homes or on the playground, and yet they reacted to everyday situations with aggression. I led them through exercises in which they practiced alternate behaviors when they were confronted by a bully or when they became frustrated, but I never felt that they were able to internalize a more peaceful response to life's challenges. Practicing at school wasn't enough to change the training they received at home, in their neighborhoods, and in the media.

People who conduct polls report that peace is highly desired by the population. If it is true that the majority of people wish for peace, why aren't we doing something about it? Why are we as a society still taking a confrontational stance when we face challenges? As individuals we still aggressively defend our ego and vehemently see others as opposition. Our government is made up of opposing parties. How will we ever work together for the benefit of the people when we are fighting each other in Congress? We see people beyond our borders as outsiders who don't deserve the same rights that we enjoy as Americans, and we act aggressively to keep them from crossing the borders.

Listen to our language. We talk about the war on terrorism, the war on drugs and poverty, our battle with cancer, and even the battle of the bulge. We speak in non-peaceful terms. We fight what we don't like, rather than work toward a peaceful resolution to our problems.

All it takes to bring peace into the world is for individuals to begin living a life of peace. If families could live peacefully in their homes, then maybe we would have peace in the neighborhoods, and then in our country and ultimately across the globe. We must begin to see others as fellow humans who are also struggling to meet life's challenges. It all begins right here at home in our own hearts. We must develop inner peace so we can bring peace to the world.

We can't just talk about peace. We have to practice peace.

An Evening of Bliss

Many years ago I heard Joseph Campbell speak of "following your bliss." It sounded wonderful, but I didn't know what he meant. I thought bliss was the same as happiness. How can a person be happy all the time? And is it possible to find bliss in such a troubled world?

It's only in recent years that I've begun to understand what Campbell meant. First, bliss is not the same as happiness which depends upon external events or people. Bliss is a state of joy that comes from within. It can occur in any place and at any time. Also, bliss is a quiet kind of joy that comes without trying. It occurs spontaneously when one is totally in the present moment. Finally, following your bliss involves discovering what it is in life that brings you into that present moment, when time stands still.

For me, bliss began with only brief glimpses and feelings of inner peace. It usually occurred when I was teaching. As soon as I began to notice it and analyze it, bliss evaporated. I've discovered that I can't be conscious of myself experiencing bliss. I have to just be immersed in it, allowing the bliss to fill me with joy and love, without questionning it. Bliss is not something that I possess. It is about me showing up for others. It is about being in a state of love and grace.

Last weekend I experienced an evening of bliss. It was an event that I had been looking forward to, but being a shy person, I was feeling anxious when I was driving to the venue. As I approached the restaurant where I knew people would be awaiting my arrival, I spoke to my spirit guide and asked him to use me to make the evening meaningful for others who would be in attendance that evening. A feeling of peace and love
filled my heart, and I walked into the room knowing it would be a special evening.

I was surrounded by people who emanated love. We were together to share details of our spiritual lives. Everyone had read my book More Than a Whisper which speaks of my spiritual evolution. Each person present had their own story which was shared with me and others. The love in that room was palpable. It was only at the end of the evening that I realized I had remained in a state of bliss the entire evening.

Religious, Spiritual, or Both?

In many people's eyes religion and spirituality are the same, but are they? As I look back at the family in which I was raised, I'd definitely describe them as religious, but I don't know if they were spiritual. They attended church and met all the criteria in the church to be considered "good Catholics" by attending Mass, confessing sins to the priest on Saturday and receiving Communion on Sunday. They performed the rituals on religious holidays like praying at each of the Stations of the Cross and giving up chocolate for Lent. They said prayers at meals and before going to bed. I could see they subscribed to the Church's dogma. It was evident in their behaviors that were dictated by the Church. But, what about spirituality which happens internally? What was going on inside them? How would I even know if they were spiritual? 

It seems as though we carry our religion on the outside, but spirituality is an internal state of mind and heart. It is not obvious to others at a glance. Spirituality is a quality that is deep within a person. It is a quality that you might see when you watch a person interact with others and conduct themselves on a daily basis. You might hear evidence of it when a person speaks about his philosophy of life, but the words don't make it true. It is not how a person speaks or what he says. The spiritual person feels a connection to a higher source within himself, whether that higher source is called God or goes by another name. 

It is common to hear people describe themselves as "spiritual, but not religious." I think they mean that they believe in a power greater than themselves, but they haven't adopted the rules and/or dogma of a particular church. I'm not sure belief makes a person spiritual. In my eyes it takes more than belief. It involves living a life based on love for all, including the "hard to love" individuals. It means serving others with whatever talents or resources a person has. It means action that comes from a higher self that resides in a place deep within.

The Gift of Forgiveness

Give yourself a gift today! Give yourself the gift of forgiving yourself and others. Yes, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself; not the other person.

Many believe that if you forgive a person it means that you have "let them off the hook" or that you have approved or accepted their poor behavior. That is not true! You don't have to approve or accept another person's behavior in order to forgive. You just have to decide that you are no longer going to be affected by their behavior because it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They behaved in such a way because they didn't know any better at the time. In this way you are allowing yourself to move beyond the anger, resentment, hurt feelings that you felt because of that behavior.

Forgiving yourself is the ultimate gift. We are all here to learn from our experiences. We don't learn unless we make mistakes. Those mistakes allow our soul to evolve. So, making mistakes and learning from those mistakes is necessary for our soul to move further along on the path. Forgiving oneself takes one from the state of living in the past to living in the present, where we can allow ourselves to live our purpose.

Living from My Higher Self

If I see myself as a soul among billions of other souls who are here to experience life and learn as much as possible before returning to our Real Home, I feel compassion for all beings including myself, who are struggling to just do the best we can. I can relate to everyone, even those who are often looked upon as damaged. We are all in the same boat. There is no dividing line between us. We are all one. 

I have a choice. I can live from a point of view of my small self where I am the focus of my existence which is separate from others, or I can perceive the people and events in my day from my higher Self. This bigger or higher Self resides just above and behind the crown of my head. It's where I have a more objective perspective, where I don't judge, but instead observe my own behavior and that of others. It's where I can make decisions unemotionally that are for the good of all.


My small self likes to protect my ego, viewing the world as if I were the center of it. So, if I encounter someone who speaks in a tone that sounds angry, I'd take it personally, thinking this person is angry with me, and immediately become defensive and probably respond with a sarcastic or snide remark. At the very least, I'd judge the person and carry ill feelings about them.


My big Self would observe the person from a bit of a distance and see that this person is not attacking me. This person needs compassion. Perhaps I can make their day better by being kind to them, smiling at them, and wishing them well. This higher Self is not worried about protecting my ego. There's no emotional reaction to their words. I can respond with love, knowing that I have at times spoken in a tone that sounded angry. If I were walking in that person's shoes, I might act in the same way.


I have a choice of reacting from my small self or responding from my big Self. Today I choose my big Self, who is more loving, patient, and joyful.

Say Yes to the Universe

All through childhood I was taught to be cautious. Never talk to strangers. Don't pet dogs that you don't know because they might bite. Always wear clean underwear, just in case... So, I was very careful, never took risks, didn't scare myself or my parents, and consequently lived an uneventful childhood. I didn't jump out of the apple tree because I was afraid I'd "break something." I didn't sing out loud or dance unabashedly for fear I'd make a fool of  myself. I said "NO" to life's little pleasures.

It's only recently that I've learned to say "YES" to life, especially when an opportunity presents itself out of the blue. Over the last fifteen years I've learned to recognize the moments when the universe has paved the way for me and all I have to do is follow the path, willingly accepting what life has to offer without being afraid.

For example, I had been thinking about moving from Arizona to Washington State but I was teaching and I wanted the full pension I'd earn at the usual retirement age. So, the universe made the decision for me. The state retirement system of Arizona opened an early retirement window for one year that I qualified for. Not only would I be able to retire with my full pension, but I'd be able to teach in my new home state of Washington. How could I say "No" to that opportunity? When I arrived at the school district office in my new home town, a school principal happened to be there looking for a new teacher. Voila! I was hired immediately. On the same weekend a fantastic realtor helped me find the perfect house. I couldn't have asked for any better sign that Washington was to be my new home. The universe made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

More recently, I was told that I should write my story. At first I said, "No, I'm not a writer." Well, the universe decided that I would become a writer by putting a publisher's advertisement in front of me and paving the way to getting my book published. It's all so easy when I just say "Yes," rather than resisting life because I am afraid to take a risk and possibly fail. I'm so glad that I finally learned to say "Yes."

Making a Little Bit of Difference

My biggest concern about retiring from teaching was waking in the morning and not being able to answer the question: How will I make a difference today? For forty-seven years of being a mom and a teacher, I awoke each morning knowing that I would be touching a child's life. I had the opportunity to change that child's life even if it's only in small ways.

For eight months I awoke with the feeling of purposelessness until I realized that I can still make a difference with small gestures of kindness in my everyday interactions. Even if I'm not interacting with others, I can make a difference by choosing the energy that I put out into the world.

On my daily walks I began to pause for a moment to say "Hi" to a neighbor, smile, and wish them well. I didn't know if it made a difference, but it had the potential of changing the person's day, and it made me feel better. I found little opportunities to let people know I noticed them, from smiling and holding the door open for someone to keeping a tired child engaged in conversation while the parent frantically tries to check out at the grocery store.

It has now become routine for me to look for ways to show others that I care about them. It has made my life happier because I've slowed down so I can "see" the people around me and I feel compassion for them. I may not be able to measure the difference I'm making as I could when I was teaching, but I do know I am still making a difference!

One Loving Gesture Can Change the World!

How I view the world determines my reality. I've been observing this for several years. The energy or vibrations I put out into the world make all the difference as to what the universe gives back to me. I can perceive the world as a hostile place and that is exactly what I will experience. Or, I can view the world as being friendly and loving and that is what I will experience. The vibrations I put out into the world come back to me a thousand fold.

Jill Bolte-Taylor says in A Stroke of Insight Be responsible for the energy you bring into a room. When I was reading Jill's book about her ability to feel a person's energy as either loving or disinterested when they came into her hospital room after her stroke, I began to think about the energy I bring to others. They may not consciously read my energy, but on some unconscious level they feel it. That's what it means when someone speaks of a positive or negative vibration they feel when being in someone's presence.

Some people have said I'm idealistic because I have decided to see what's right and good in others rather than focusing on their faults. I am peripherally aware of the faults but I don't choose to give them my attention. I don't wish to feed those negative feelings. I know there is much to be improved in our society, but there are many kind people who are doing good things for others. I choose to give them my attention. In that way my energy levels stay positive. My vibration remains high. I can bring a more positive and loving experience to myself and others. I can have a positive effect on others which ultimately will help them have a positive effect on those they come into contact with. One loving gesture can change the world!

Making Loving Choices

Every moment whether we are aware of it or not, we are making choices. We choose to act out of love or react with some destructive emotion.

We choose how we interact with others. No one else makes that choice for us. Let's consider the common statement, He or she makes me angry! If that were true, I would be giving away my power. I would be allowing someone else to rule my emotions. But that statement is not true. I can decide how to perceive the other person's actions, and I can choose to ignore or act on them.

For example, if a co-worker or family member speaks in a tone that sounds harsh, I can choose to interpret their tone of voice as rude and take it personally, thinking they are angry with me. I would be allowing my own feelings to be hurt and perhaps reply in a defensive manner. This could possibly fuel a fiery situation. On the other hand, I could think about the stress they might be feeling and have compassion for them. I can reply in a loving manner with a question, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" I would be choosing to act out of love. It is my choice.

When we begin to take responsibility for our choices, rather than blaming others for our reactions, we'll begin to see peace and love reign in our homes, at work, and ultimately in the world.

Living from My Higher Self

If I see myself as a soul among billions of other souls who are here to experience life and learn as much as possible before returning to our Real Home, I feel compassion for all beings including myself, who are struggling to just do the best we can. I can relate to everyone, even those who are often looked upon as damaged. We are all in the same boat. There is no dividing line between us. We are all one.


I have a choice. I can live from a point of view of my small self where I am the focus of my existence which is separate from others, or I can perceive the people and events in my day from my higher Self. This bigger or higher Self resides just above and behind the crown of my head. It's where I have a more objective perspective, where I don't judge, but instead observe my own behavior and that of others. It's where I can make decisions unemotionally that are for the good of all.


My small self likes to protect my ego, viewing the world as if I were the center of it. So, if I encounter someone who speaks in a tone that sounds angry, I'd take it personally, thinking this person is angry with me, and immediately become defensive and probably respond with a sarcastic or snide remark. At the very least, I'd judge the person and carry ill feelings about them.


My big Self would observe the person from a bit of a distance and see that this person is not attacking me. This person needs compassion. Perhaps I can make their day better by being kind to them, smiling at them, and wishing them well. This higher Self is not worried about protecting my ego. There's no emotional reaction to their words. I can respond with love, knowing that I have at times spoken in a tone that sounded angry. If I were walking in that person's shoes, I might act in the same way.


I have a choice of reacting from my small self or responding from my big Self. Today I choose my big Self, who is more loving, patient, and joyful.

Who or What Are You?

How would you answer the question "Who are you?" or "What are you?"

When I try to truthfully finish the sentence "I am a ..." my mind flounders for an accurate description of who or what I am. Of course, I can provide the words human, mother, teacher, woman, daughter, lover, partner, and on and on. All of those descriptors would be true, but are any of those words adequate? Do they really state who or what I am at my core?

When I strip away all the roles I have played during my life and attempt to find out who and what I truly am, I can't describe it any better than to say: "I am a soul who is temporarily experiencing life on earth just like every other soul."

An Uncommon Love

There's a love that doesn't ask for anything, but gives freely; a love that doesn't keep track of good deeds performed or received. This love is complete unto itself and is extraordinary when joined with another. This is the love we experience when we know in our heart that we ARE the other.

There is no difference between you and me. We are the same with identical joys and heartaches. When you experience pain, I ache for you. When you feel joy, I dance in ecstasy. I cry for your loss and sing the praises of your accomplishments.

This uncommon love doesn't cling or possess. This love allows others to come and go freely, for it is only with freedom that we can spread our wings and be all we are meant to be. But when the other settles back once again we know it is to freely share this uncommon love.

Living Life Abundantly

Abundance is a word we associate with wealth, and to most people in our society wealth means having lots of money and owning more things than their neighbor. Many people strive to accumulate more and bigger houses, cars, and vacations. In order to afford these things they must work more and worry about maintaining and protecting these accumulated treasures. Is that really living abundantly?

I prefer another definition of abundance ... fullness; the fullness of experiencing life and love with a pure heart and peaceful spirit. If we live fully with an open heart, we receive all the joy and goodness life has to offer. This does not involve acquiring goods, but living simply so we have the time and energy to appreciate all the beauty that surrounds us in nature and in other people. Living life abundantly is feeling gratitude for all that has been put before us.

It's time to stop acquiring more. We have far more than we need. Let's try to be grateful for what we have and share the excess. Then, go out into nature and take a big cleansing breath and say thank you for this abundant life we've been given!

90 Seconds to Freedom

There was a time when I was enslaved by my emotions. I'm a passionate person with strong feelings, and that's desirable when we're talking about emotions that are viewed in a positive light, like devotion, love, compassion, or faithfulness. But, when the not-so-positive emotions creep in and steal our peace of mind, we have become their destructive servant.

There's a way to free ourselves from getting lost in the prison of our mind where we tell ourselves the familiar story of "poor me." Pema Chodron speaks of the lifespan of an emotion as being ninety seconds. If we do not feed the emotion by engaging in the story, but just watch the emotion as an impartial observer, we will see that it diminishes and dies within that very short minute and a half.

So, when an uncomfortable feeling such as anger, unworthiness, or jealousy first begins to arise in my belly or chest, I just recognize that it is there and watch it. It might intensify for a few seconds, but then it subsides and then slowly disappears. Then, and only then, am I free to act in a situation in a kind, loving manner, rather than as an emotional reactor.

Losing Oneself in Self

At times I get so lost in thought that I forget who and what I really am? Or, I get lost in DOING and forget to just BE. It is through BEING and forgetting the Self that allows the peace and love to fill me. It is when I shed the Little World of the Self and focus on the Big World of all creation that my mind and heart can reconnect and rest in the loving space of Oneness.


Getting out to walk in nature, sitting in my big comfy meditation chair, or centering myself with a few minutes of yoga helps me to reconnect with the ME that is here on this earth to have experiences for only one purpose.

Signs of Spring - New Beginnings

The sunshine feels more intense, and the air is warm and sweet. The trees are adorned with buds swollen with new life. The daffodils have burst into bloom, and the rhodies are beginning to show their colors. These are all signs of new beginnings.


What we forget is that every moment is a new beginning. Wherever we are in the journey of our soul, we can begin anew … making better choices, forgiving ourselves and others, renewing a practice of mindfulness, meditation, or prayer. We don’t have to wait for the New Year’s Day to make resolutions or the first day of spring. Right now we can begin to become the person that reflects the spirit we are inside … that spirit that loves all of life and treats self and others with compassion.

Living Presently

I was filling out a questionnaire this morning, and one of the questions was, Where are you living presently? Now I know the intent of that question, but there’s a deeper, more esoteric, meaning to that question. Am I living presently? Do I live in the present moment?

When I say it is my goal to live in the present moment, then I am not living in the here and now. Having a goal means I am looking into the future, hoping that someday I achieve the goal of living in the now.

Living presently is a release of reliving the past or fretting about the future. It is allowing my focus to land on the feel of my fingers touching the keys of the keyboard or the sounds and sights around me right now. It is living with a calm mind and a peaceful heart.

The Voice in My Head

There's a voice in my head that insists upon speaking. Actually, there's more than one voice. As a friend of mine says, "There's a committee of voices." I have the critic, the parent, the victim, the judge, the worrier, and many more. These voices sound like people from my life story. These voices have an opinion about all that is happening in and around me. Of course, I am the center of their discussion.


I'm not speaking of voices that we usually associate with mental illness, but if I repeated all this dialogue aloud, people would certainly wonder about my sanity. When I objectively watch and listen to all the words passing through my mind, I discover they are the same voices I heard yesterday and the day before yesterday. I'll hear the same voices saying the same things tomorrow. The dialogue is a recording that keeps repeating.


The problem arises when I believe what the voices are telling me. When the judge criticizes something I've done, I can choose to believe it and question my actions or I can recognize that voice as the critic and dismiss its words. Each time I choose not to give credence to the "voice in the head" I weaken the hold that it has on me. It wants to pull me back into the past (rehashing my words or deeds) or cause me to worry about the future. I would rather live in the present where I find peace of mind.

Not Engaging in a Story

I have a choice whether I enter into a tug-of-war with my emotions, allowing them to rule my life or fighting them. I don't have to do either. A simple act of not engaging the emotions is the answer for me.


First scenario: If a friend tells me that I am looking tired, I can choose to defend myself by giving an explanation for why I might be tired, giving all sorts of reasons why life is unfair to me, how people demand too much from me, or I can become hurt because my friend is saying I don't look my best. In both cases, I have entered into a story. Both stories are created because of the emotions of defensiveness or hurt. That story can continue to build over the course of hours until I become angry with my friend or someone who I perceive as contributing to my being tired. I can even engage other people in the story by telling my partner about how unkind my friend was to me.


A better version of this scenario: My friend says I look tired. I answer, "Hmm, perhaps!" Then, we continue with our friendly conversation about other things. I have not engaged my emotions. I have not begun telling myself a story. By remaining present with my friend and not entering into any self-talk I have not taken offense to what my friend said. There are no hurt feelings and the friendship is not in any danger of being damaged.