Religious, Spiritual, or Both?

In many people's eyes religion and spirituality are the same, but are they? As I look back at the family in which I was raised, I'd definitely describe them as religious, but I don't know if they were spiritual. They attended church and met all the criteria in the church to be considered "good Catholics" by attending Mass, confessing sins to the priest on Saturday and receiving Communion on Sunday. They performed the rituals on religious holidays like praying at each of the Stations of the Cross and giving up chocolate for Lent. They said prayers at meals and before going to bed. I could see they subscribed to the Church's dogma. It was evident in their behaviors that were dictated by the Church. But, what about spirituality which happens internally? What was going on inside them? How would I even know if they were spiritual? 

It seems as though we carry our religion on the outside, but spirituality is an internal state of mind and heart. It is not obvious to others at a glance. Spirituality is a quality that is deep within a person. It is a quality that you might see when you watch a person interact with others and conduct themselves on a daily basis. You might hear evidence of it when a person speaks about his philosophy of life, but the words don't make it true. It is not how a person speaks or what he says. The spiritual person feels a connection to a higher source within himself, whether that higher source is called God or goes by another name. 

It is common to hear people describe themselves as "spiritual, but not religious." I think they mean that they believe in a power greater than themselves, but they haven't adopted the rules and/or dogma of a particular church. I'm not sure belief makes a person spiritual. In my eyes it takes more than belief. It involves living a life based on love for all, including the "hard to love" individuals. It means serving others with whatever talents or resources a person has. It means action that comes from a higher self that resides in a place deep within.

The Gift of Forgiveness

Give yourself a gift today! Give yourself the gift of forgiving yourself and others. Yes, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself; not the other person.

Many believe that if you forgive a person it means that you have "let them off the hook" or that you have approved or accepted their poor behavior. That is not true! You don't have to approve or accept another person's behavior in order to forgive. You just have to decide that you are no longer going to be affected by their behavior because it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They behaved in such a way because they didn't know any better at the time. In this way you are allowing yourself to move beyond the anger, resentment, hurt feelings that you felt because of that behavior.

Forgiving yourself is the ultimate gift. We are all here to learn from our experiences. We don't learn unless we make mistakes. Those mistakes allow our soul to evolve. So, making mistakes and learning from those mistakes is necessary for our soul to move further along on the path. Forgiving oneself takes one from the state of living in the past to living in the present, where we can allow ourselves to live our purpose.

Living from My Higher Self

If I see myself as a soul among billions of other souls who are here to experience life and learn as much as possible before returning to our Real Home, I feel compassion for all beings including myself, who are struggling to just do the best we can. I can relate to everyone, even those who are often looked upon as damaged. We are all in the same boat. There is no dividing line between us. We are all one. 

I have a choice. I can live from a point of view of my small self where I am the focus of my existence which is separate from others, or I can perceive the people and events in my day from my higher Self. This bigger or higher Self resides just above and behind the crown of my head. It's where I have a more objective perspective, where I don't judge, but instead observe my own behavior and that of others. It's where I can make decisions unemotionally that are for the good of all.


My small self likes to protect my ego, viewing the world as if I were the center of it. So, if I encounter someone who speaks in a tone that sounds angry, I'd take it personally, thinking this person is angry with me, and immediately become defensive and probably respond with a sarcastic or snide remark. At the very least, I'd judge the person and carry ill feelings about them.


My big Self would observe the person from a bit of a distance and see that this person is not attacking me. This person needs compassion. Perhaps I can make their day better by being kind to them, smiling at them, and wishing them well. This higher Self is not worried about protecting my ego. There's no emotional reaction to their words. I can respond with love, knowing that I have at times spoken in a tone that sounded angry. If I were walking in that person's shoes, I might act in the same way.


I have a choice of reacting from my small self or responding from my big Self. Today I choose my big Self, who is more loving, patient, and joyful.

Say Yes to the Universe

All through childhood I was taught to be cautious. Never talk to strangers. Don't pet dogs that you don't know because they might bite. Always wear clean underwear, just in case... So, I was very careful, never took risks, didn't scare myself or my parents, and consequently lived an uneventful childhood. I didn't jump out of the apple tree because I was afraid I'd "break something." I didn't sing out loud or dance unabashedly for fear I'd make a fool of  myself. I said "NO" to life's little pleasures.

It's only recently that I've learned to say "YES" to life, especially when an opportunity presents itself out of the blue. Over the last fifteen years I've learned to recognize the moments when the universe has paved the way for me and all I have to do is follow the path, willingly accepting what life has to offer without being afraid.

For example, I had been thinking about moving from Arizona to Washington State but I was teaching and I wanted the full pension I'd earn at the usual retirement age. So, the universe made the decision for me. The state retirement system of Arizona opened an early retirement window for one year that I qualified for. Not only would I be able to retire with my full pension, but I'd be able to teach in my new home state of Washington. How could I say "No" to that opportunity? When I arrived at the school district office in my new home town, a school principal happened to be there looking for a new teacher. Voila! I was hired immediately. On the same weekend a fantastic realtor helped me find the perfect house. I couldn't have asked for any better sign that Washington was to be my new home. The universe made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

More recently, I was told that I should write my story. At first I said, "No, I'm not a writer." Well, the universe decided that I would become a writer by putting a publisher's advertisement in front of me and paving the way to getting my book published. It's all so easy when I just say "Yes," rather than resisting life because I am afraid to take a risk and possibly fail. I'm so glad that I finally learned to say "Yes."

Making a Little Bit of Difference

My biggest concern about retiring from teaching was waking in the morning and not being able to answer the question: How will I make a difference today? For forty-seven years of being a mom and a teacher, I awoke each morning knowing that I would be touching a child's life. I had the opportunity to change that child's life even if it's only in small ways.

For eight months I awoke with the feeling of purposelessness until I realized that I can still make a difference with small gestures of kindness in my everyday interactions. Even if I'm not interacting with others, I can make a difference by choosing the energy that I put out into the world.

On my daily walks I began to pause for a moment to say "Hi" to a neighbor, smile, and wish them well. I didn't know if it made a difference, but it had the potential of changing the person's day, and it made me feel better. I found little opportunities to let people know I noticed them, from smiling and holding the door open for someone to keeping a tired child engaged in conversation while the parent frantically tries to check out at the grocery store.

It has now become routine for me to look for ways to show others that I care about them. It has made my life happier because I've slowed down so I can "see" the people around me and I feel compassion for them. I may not be able to measure the difference I'm making as I could when I was teaching, but I do know I am still making a difference!

One Loving Gesture Can Change the World!

How I view the world determines my reality. I've been observing this for several years. The energy or vibrations I put out into the world make all the difference as to what the universe gives back to me. I can perceive the world as a hostile place and that is exactly what I will experience. Or, I can view the world as being friendly and loving and that is what I will experience. The vibrations I put out into the world come back to me a thousand fold.

Jill Bolte-Taylor says in A Stroke of Insight Be responsible for the energy you bring into a room. When I was reading Jill's book about her ability to feel a person's energy as either loving or disinterested when they came into her hospital room after her stroke, I began to think about the energy I bring to others. They may not consciously read my energy, but on some unconscious level they feel it. That's what it means when someone speaks of a positive or negative vibration they feel when being in someone's presence.

Some people have said I'm idealistic because I have decided to see what's right and good in others rather than focusing on their faults. I am peripherally aware of the faults but I don't choose to give them my attention. I don't wish to feed those negative feelings. I know there is much to be improved in our society, but there are many kind people who are doing good things for others. I choose to give them my attention. In that way my energy levels stay positive. My vibration remains high. I can bring a more positive and loving experience to myself and others. I can have a positive effect on others which ultimately will help them have a positive effect on those they come into contact with. One loving gesture can change the world!

Making Loving Choices

Every moment whether we are aware of it or not, we are making choices. We choose to act out of love or react with some destructive emotion.

We choose how we interact with others. No one else makes that choice for us. Let's consider the common statement, He or she makes me angry! If that were true, I would be giving away my power. I would be allowing someone else to rule my emotions. But that statement is not true. I can decide how to perceive the other person's actions, and I can choose to ignore or act on them.

For example, if a co-worker or family member speaks in a tone that sounds harsh, I can choose to interpret their tone of voice as rude and take it personally, thinking they are angry with me. I would be allowing my own feelings to be hurt and perhaps reply in a defensive manner. This could possibly fuel a fiery situation. On the other hand, I could think about the stress they might be feeling and have compassion for them. I can reply in a loving manner with a question, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" I would be choosing to act out of love. It is my choice.

When we begin to take responsibility for our choices, rather than blaming others for our reactions, we'll begin to see peace and love reign in our homes, at work, and ultimately in the world.

Living from My Higher Self

If I see myself as a soul among billions of other souls who are here to experience life and learn as much as possible before returning to our Real Home, I feel compassion for all beings including myself, who are struggling to just do the best we can. I can relate to everyone, even those who are often looked upon as damaged. We are all in the same boat. There is no dividing line between us. We are all one.


I have a choice. I can live from a point of view of my small self where I am the focus of my existence which is separate from others, or I can perceive the people and events in my day from my higher Self. This bigger or higher Self resides just above and behind the crown of my head. It's where I have a more objective perspective, where I don't judge, but instead observe my own behavior and that of others. It's where I can make decisions unemotionally that are for the good of all.


My small self likes to protect my ego, viewing the world as if I were the center of it. So, if I encounter someone who speaks in a tone that sounds angry, I'd take it personally, thinking this person is angry with me, and immediately become defensive and probably respond with a sarcastic or snide remark. At the very least, I'd judge the person and carry ill feelings about them.


My big Self would observe the person from a bit of a distance and see that this person is not attacking me. This person needs compassion. Perhaps I can make their day better by being kind to them, smiling at them, and wishing them well. This higher Self is not worried about protecting my ego. There's no emotional reaction to their words. I can respond with love, knowing that I have at times spoken in a tone that sounded angry. If I were walking in that person's shoes, I might act in the same way.


I have a choice of reacting from my small self or responding from my big Self. Today I choose my big Self, who is more loving, patient, and joyful.

Who or What Are You?

How would you answer the question "Who are you?" or "What are you?"

When I try to truthfully finish the sentence "I am a ..." my mind flounders for an accurate description of who or what I am. Of course, I can provide the words human, mother, teacher, woman, daughter, lover, partner, and on and on. All of those descriptors would be true, but are any of those words adequate? Do they really state who or what I am at my core?

When I strip away all the roles I have played during my life and attempt to find out who and what I truly am, I can't describe it any better than to say: "I am a soul who is temporarily experiencing life on earth just like every other soul."