Letter to My Mind

Dear Mind,

I have a bone to pick with you. Even though there are times when you've given me good advice, I've noticed a trend that just can't continue. When I am experiencing peace in the present moment, you manage to interfere, bringing with you feelings of judgment and separateness. Sometimes your quiet voice can be ignored, but at times you become louder and louder like an obstreperous child whose temper tantrum cannot be tuned out. You manage to crowd out the joy of a quiet mind with your persistent warnings that life isn't as good as I believe it to be.

Just last week, I was feeling buoyant as I walked along the city streets to meet a friend. I was enjoying the warm late-summer breezes and anticipating a nice meal and great conversation at a brand new restaurant. As I was taking in the scenery along the water of the Puget Sound, I noticed a female about my age sitting on the sidewalk holding a sign asking for help. My first reaction was to reach into my pocket and with compassion give her a few dollars. But then you chimed in. You interrupted my feelings of kindness with warnings of danger. Before I could reach into my purse, I heard you say, "What if other needy people see you giving this woman a handout? They'll want money too. You'll be surrounded by people asking for help. You can't give to all of them. What if they become upset with you for helping her and not them? You're a woman walking the city streets alone. It's dangerous to give her money." By then I had walked past this woman, but my peaceful walk in the beautiful city had been ruined. It had been replaced with feelings of judgment and guilt. I was judging myself as foolish for choosing to walk the few miles to the restaurant rather than taking safe available transportation, and I was feeling guilt for being a selfish individual who had enough money to go out to dinner in a nice restaurant but didn't help someone in need.

Because of you, Mind, I changed the way I saw myself and everyone around me. In the beginning, I was a bright spirit taking in the joys of the day among lovely people along the waterfront of my favorite city. But then, you took over and I became a selfish woman who didn't have the sense to protect herself in a dangerous world. Why did I give you that kind of power...again? Why did I get into a dialogue with you...again? I've practiced meditation and mindfulness for years. And yet, you were still able to engage me in one of your tirades.

Here's my warning to you, Mind. My intention is to silence you. Each time you speak up I intend to see you for what you are, just a producer of emotional stories that disrupt my peace and harmony. I choose to experience compassion and love with my fellow beings. I can't do that with your judgmental voice of doom. You'll just have to go! Sayonara!

Finding Our Greatness

Change is inevitable, and along with change comes loss. We lament over the changes we see in the mirror. Our hair grows thinner, our skin is not as taut, our energy level begins to wane. Our heart aches when we lose family and friends due to illness, accidents, and injury. We mourn the losses we see all around us.

But there is one part of us that doesn't change and we never lose it. It remains strong and steady. That is our Higher Self. Some refer to this as the conscience or intuition, but it is more than that.

When we get to know this part of ourselves, we realize it is the real essence of who we are. It is the unshakeable nugget of strength and knowing, and it is our connection to the universe.

It's so easy to get caught up in temporary distractions, especially in our fast-paced entertainment-oriented society. We don't take much time to sit in silence and reconnect with that stillness inside ourselves.

Looking within can be daunting. We might be frightened by what we find. What if we are not the person we think we are? Maybe there are unresolved issues that we need to address. Maybe there is pain inside that we don't want to acknowledge. We fear that if we see something inside ourselves that we don't like, we might have to do something about it. So, our thinking is that we just don't want to know. 

We avoid the unpleasant things in life. But it is in those unpleasant places where there is an ache or a twinge of anxiety that we begin to find out who we really are. It is true that when we visit these places we will find things that we don't like, but we will also find that under all the fear there is a love and a sweetness. This is our basic goodness that we all possess. It is where we are still the child with hopes and dreams. It is a place that the cynicism of today's world hasn't touched. It is that kernel of unending strength that carries us forward in times of suffering. It is our greatness. 

Noticing the Silver Lining

"It is a choice whether I see the clouds or the break in the clouds."

In More Than a Whisper I speak of the moment I realized that the universe is always looking out for me. All I have to do is look for the silver lining, and it will always be there.

There are times when it doesn't seem as though the universe has a plan, but if I pay attention and look for the bright spot in the bleak sky I will see the signs of hope. Those signs might be a synchronicity such as the young man who suddenly appeared on a hiking trail with a timely message for my partner. Or, the universe might send help from a deceased loved one, such as the time my grandmother in heaven came through to a medium after my son's death. The medium was speaking at a dinner attended by my cousin. My grandmother wanted my cousin to tell me that my son in heaven was okay.

Keeping my mind and heart open to the hope in the world allows me to see the basic goodness in all people. Then, the universe can do its work, bringing me wisdom and strength to carry on with my work here in this lifetime.

"Life Without Cause is a Life Without Effect"

This quote from Paulo Coelho's book Aleph struck me when I read it. I found myself rereading that sentence until it found its way into that place in my heart where I knew what he meant as if I had said it.

Coelho expressed the passion I have deep in my soul to make a difference, however subtle, during this lifetime. It is the reason why I find myself restless when I am not actively growing in my spiritual life. And, it's the reason I find myself in despair when I slip back into my less-than-loving or less-than-peaceful habitual patterns. Living a life WITH cause is the fuel that ignites my sense of urgency to fulfill my purpose.

There are people who are here to BE a mirror to others. That is their purpose and for them I am grateful, for I have learned much from them. People have come into my life who have shown me my errors by reflecting them back to me. Without their willingness to allow me to see myself in them I would not have grown.

My outer purpose in this lifetime is to teach actively, Be-ing and DO-ing. When I taught elementary school, I didn't teach math, reading, and writing. That was the curriculum, and I followed it to the letter, but I taught love, respect, and acceptance to my students. Since retiring from teaching public school I have found that the world has become my classroom. But in order to teach love, respect, and acceptance, I must attain my inner purpose which is to become loving, respectful and accepting at all times. This is the only way I can make a difference in my own soul's development and bring peace and love to the world. This is the CAUSE in my life. I pray that it has an EFFECT.

The Price of Wisdom

One of my favorite quotes is Maya Angelou's which says, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I've been thinking about the implications of "knowing better."


When we are young and carefree, we act and react without much thought. We respond to the outer world from an egocentric point of view. We are the center of our universe and we react to situations from the perspective of how it affects us. People understand that we are young (and often foolish), and give us some leeway when we make mistakes. But, there comes a time when we become more mindful of the effect our decisions have on the future of ourselves and on others.


We are all interconnected and every action we make affects not only ourselves, but each other and everyone else in some way. The effect might be great or very minute, but nonetheless, there is an effect. Knowing this makes us far more hesitant to make choices willy-nilly. We understand the seriousness of our actions. It causes us to weigh our reactions carefully before executing them. Knowing the seriousness of our actions brings with it the responsibility to make choices that are for the common good.


As we experience life, we endure sorrows and loss. Unfortunate, painful things happen to all of us, and when we lean into those things as a learning tool those experiences can become a gateway to new understanding. That new understanding is the "knowing better" that Maya Angelou speaks of. It is the wisdom that requires that we "do better" for ourselves and all other living things.