An Uncommon Love

There's a love that doesn't ask for anything, but gives freely; a love that doesn't keep track of good deeds performed or received. This love is complete unto itself and is extraordinary when joined with another. This is the love we experience when we know in our heart that we ARE the other.

There is no difference between you and me. We are the same with identical joys and heartaches. When you experience pain, I ache for you. When you feel joy, I dance in ecstasy. I cry for your loss and sing the praises of your accomplishments.

This uncommon love doesn't cling or possess. This love allows others to come and go freely, for it is only with freedom that we can spread our wings and be all we are meant to be. But when the other settles back once again we know it is to freely share this uncommon love.

Living Life Abundantly

Abundance is a word we associate with wealth, and to most people in our society wealth means having lots of money and owning more things than their neighbor. Many people strive to accumulate more and bigger houses, cars, and vacations. In order to afford these things they must work more and worry about maintaining and protecting these accumulated treasures. Is that really living abundantly?

I prefer another definition of abundance ... fullness; the fullness of experiencing life and love with a pure heart and peaceful spirit. If we live fully with an open heart, we receive all the joy and goodness life has to offer. This does not involve acquiring goods, but living simply so we have the time and energy to appreciate all the beauty that surrounds us in nature and in other people. Living life abundantly is feeling gratitude for all that has been put before us.

It's time to stop acquiring more. We have far more than we need. Let's try to be grateful for what we have and share the excess. Then, go out into nature and take a big cleansing breath and say thank you for this abundant life we've been given!

90 Seconds to Freedom

There was a time when I was enslaved by my emotions. I'm a passionate person with strong feelings, and that's desirable when we're talking about emotions that are viewed in a positive light, like devotion, love, compassion, or faithfulness. But, when the not-so-positive emotions creep in and steal our peace of mind, we have become their destructive servant.

There's a way to free ourselves from getting lost in the prison of our mind where we tell ourselves the familiar story of "poor me." Pema Chodron speaks of the lifespan of an emotion as being ninety seconds. If we do not feed the emotion by engaging in the story, but just watch the emotion as an impartial observer, we will see that it diminishes and dies within that very short minute and a half.

So, when an uncomfortable feeling such as anger, unworthiness, or jealousy first begins to arise in my belly or chest, I just recognize that it is there and watch it. It might intensify for a few seconds, but then it subsides and then slowly disappears. Then, and only then, am I free to act in a situation in a kind, loving manner, rather than as an emotional reactor.

Losing Oneself in Self

At times I get so lost in thought that I forget who and what I really am? Or, I get lost in DOING and forget to just BE. It is through BEING and forgetting the Self that allows the peace and love to fill me. It is when I shed the Little World of the Self and focus on the Big World of all creation that my mind and heart can reconnect and rest in the loving space of Oneness.


Getting out to walk in nature, sitting in my big comfy meditation chair, or centering myself with a few minutes of yoga helps me to reconnect with the ME that is here on this earth to have experiences for only one purpose.

Signs of Spring - New Beginnings

The sunshine feels more intense, and the air is warm and sweet. The trees are adorned with buds swollen with new life. The daffodils have burst into bloom, and the rhodies are beginning to show their colors. These are all signs of new beginnings.


What we forget is that every moment is a new beginning. Wherever we are in the journey of our soul, we can begin anew … making better choices, forgiving ourselves and others, renewing a practice of mindfulness, meditation, or prayer. We don’t have to wait for the New Year’s Day to make resolutions or the first day of spring. Right now we can begin to become the person that reflects the spirit we are inside … that spirit that loves all of life and treats self and others with compassion.

Living Presently

I was filling out a questionnaire this morning, and one of the questions was, Where are you living presently? Now I know the intent of that question, but there’s a deeper, more esoteric, meaning to that question. Am I living presently? Do I live in the present moment?

When I say it is my goal to live in the present moment, then I am not living in the here and now. Having a goal means I am looking into the future, hoping that someday I achieve the goal of living in the now.

Living presently is a release of reliving the past or fretting about the future. It is allowing my focus to land on the feel of my fingers touching the keys of the keyboard or the sounds and sights around me right now. It is living with a calm mind and a peaceful heart.

The Voice in My Head

There's a voice in my head that insists upon speaking. Actually, there's more than one voice. As a friend of mine says, "There's a committee of voices." I have the critic, the parent, the victim, the judge, the worrier, and many more. These voices sound like people from my life story. These voices have an opinion about all that is happening in and around me. Of course, I am the center of their discussion.


I'm not speaking of voices that we usually associate with mental illness, but if I repeated all this dialogue aloud, people would certainly wonder about my sanity. When I objectively watch and listen to all the words passing through my mind, I discover they are the same voices I heard yesterday and the day before yesterday. I'll hear the same voices saying the same things tomorrow. The dialogue is a recording that keeps repeating.


The problem arises when I believe what the voices are telling me. When the judge criticizes something I've done, I can choose to believe it and question my actions or I can recognize that voice as the critic and dismiss its words. Each time I choose not to give credence to the "voice in the head" I weaken the hold that it has on me. It wants to pull me back into the past (rehashing my words or deeds) or cause me to worry about the future. I would rather live in the present where I find peace of mind.

Not Engaging in a Story

I have a choice whether I enter into a tug-of-war with my emotions, allowing them to rule my life or fighting them. I don't have to do either. A simple act of not engaging the emotions is the answer for me.


First scenario: If a friend tells me that I am looking tired, I can choose to defend myself by giving an explanation for why I might be tired, giving all sorts of reasons why life is unfair to me, how people demand too much from me, or I can become hurt because my friend is saying I don't look my best. In both cases, I have entered into a story. Both stories are created because of the emotions of defensiveness or hurt. That story can continue to build over the course of hours until I become angry with my friend or someone who I perceive as contributing to my being tired. I can even engage other people in the story by telling my partner about how unkind my friend was to me.


A better version of this scenario: My friend says I look tired. I answer, "Hmm, perhaps!" Then, we continue with our friendly conversation about other things. I have not engaged my emotions. I have not begun telling myself a story. By remaining present with my friend and not entering into any self-talk I have not taken offense to what my friend said. There are no hurt feelings and the friendship is not in any danger of being damaged.

A Question to Ponder

Who am I? That's a tough question to answer without some lengthy examination and deep soul-searching. At my core, I'm not the mother, teacher, writer, spouse, friend, woman, or daughter that I've been in periods of this lifetime. Those roles are merely parts my spirit needed to experience in various chapters of this life story. After those roles are stripped away, I'm able to catch a glimpse of the essence that I am.


One of my favorite poems I Am Not I is written by Juan Ramon Jimenez.


I AM NOT I

by Juan Ramon Jimenez

I am not I.
              I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
the one who remains silent while I talk,
the one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,
the one who takes a walk when I am indoors,
the one who will remain standing when I die.


© Juan Ramon Jimenez 

Make Friends with Your Breath

It's true that taking a breath (or two) before reacting can save many relationships. Just that space that is created while focusing on the breath allows us to see a situation more clearly.


If I'm nervous about a situation, I turn my attention inward, feel the breath enter my body through my nostrils, fill my lungs and belly, and slowly exit again. Suddenly, I find that I am much calmer.


Meditating on the breath allows us to see that the breath changes, as all things do. Each breath is a little different from the one before. It's a way to calm the body, still the racing mind, and nourish the cells with oxygen, bringing with it clarity. This can be done when sitting, walking, or lying down. In can be done alone or in a crowded room.


Try getting to know your breath. Let it help you relax and handle situations more clearly. Let the breath be your ally.

Living a Consciously Balanced Life

Consciousness - Awareness - Wakefulness - Thoughtfulness - Mindfulness





If we interact with life in a conscious manner, we will live a balanced life. This is true for our eating habits, our exercise, as well as the way we interact with other beings.


If we eat consciously, rather than in front of the television or computer, we will taste the food, feel the sensations on our tongue, and recognize the signal when our body is satisfied.


If we exercise consciously, we have less chance of pulling a muscle. We'll know if the body is straining too much or if the exercise is the right type for us.


If we interact with our environment consciously, we will care for our earth, air, water, animals, and plants.


If we interact with other people consciously, we will look into their eyes and notice their uniqueness. We will feel their pain as well as their joy. We will be one with them.


Living consciously allows us to feel the connection to the rest of humanity. It fosters compassion. If we can see the effect our actions have on ourselves and the world, we will change many of our habitual tendencies. We will change ourselves and ultimately the world!

Balancing Emotions - Take a Time-Out

When my children were young, there were times when their emotions escalated. They became agitated with each other and their voices would rise. As a mother, I knew the value of the time-out. It wasn't a punishment. It was a way to give my children time to get control of their emotions; a time to calm down and rethink their words or actions. It works for children ... and it works for me. But, unlike a child, my time-out needs to occur before I say or do something hurtful.


Through the practice of meditation and watching my monkey-mind grasp random thoughts, I discovered that I can't trust the stories it tells me. My thoughts and feelings can change in an instant because of a situation outside myself. If they can change so quickly and drastically, how do I know they can be trusted? And, do I want my emotions to be blown about by outside forces? I sought to maintain more balance.


It was several times a day in the beginning that I had to bring myself back to center in order to do a reality check. I had to bring my attention inside my body and observe what it was feeling or listen to the story my mind was creating about a situation. This had to be done as an impartial observer, so I wouldn't be caught up in the story. Sometimes I had to clear my head of the toxic ideas by getting outside for a walk or retreat into meditation. With practice the process became more automatic. Now I can almost always catch the emotions rising at the first signs. But, there are times when I still need a time-out.