When my children were young, there were times when their emotions escalated. They became agitated with each other and their voices would rise. As a mother, I knew the value of the time-out. It wasn't a punishment. It was a way to give my children time to get control of their emotions; a time to calm down and rethink their words or actions. It works for children ... and it works for me. But, unlike a child, my time-out needs to occur before I say or do something hurtful.
Through the practice of meditation and watching my monkey-mind grasp random thoughts, I discovered that I can't trust the stories it tells me. My thoughts and feelings can change in an instant because of a situation outside myself. If they can change so quickly and drastically, how do I know they can be trusted? And, do I want my emotions to be blown about by outside forces? I sought to maintain more balance.
It was several times a day in the beginning that I had to bring myself back to center in order to do a reality check. I had to bring my attention inside my body and observe what it was feeling or listen to the story my mind was creating about a situation. This had to be done as an impartial observer, so I wouldn't be caught up in the story. Sometimes I had to clear my head of the toxic ideas by getting outside for a walk or retreat into meditation. With practice the process became more automatic. Now I can almost always catch the emotions rising at the first signs. But, there are times when I still need a time-out.
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