I have a choice whether I enter into a tug-of-war with my emotions, allowing them to rule my life or fighting them. I don't have to do either. A simple act of not engaging the emotions is the answer for me.
First scenario: If a friend tells me that I am looking tired, I can choose to defend myself by giving an explanation for why I might be tired, giving all sorts of reasons why life is unfair to me, how people demand too much from me, or I can become hurt because my friend is saying I don't look my best. In both cases, I have entered into a story. Both stories are created because of the emotions of defensiveness or hurt. That story can continue to build over the course of hours until I become angry with my friend or someone who I perceive as contributing to my being tired. I can even engage other people in the story by telling my partner about how unkind my friend was to me.
A better version of this scenario: My friend says I look tired. I answer, "Hmm, perhaps!" Then, we continue with our friendly conversation about other things. I have not engaged my emotions. I have not begun telling myself a story. By remaining present with my friend and not entering into any self-talk I have not taken offense to what my friend said. There are no hurt feelings and the friendship is not in any danger of being damaged.
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