Letter to My Mind

Dear Mind,

I have a bone to pick with you. Even though there are times when you've given me good advice, I've noticed a trend that just can't continue. When I am experiencing peace in the present moment, you manage to interfere, bringing with you feelings of judgment and separateness. Sometimes your quiet voice can be ignored, but at times you become louder and louder like an obstreperous child whose temper tantrum cannot be tuned out. You manage to crowd out the joy of a quiet mind with your persistent warnings that life isn't as good as I believe it to be.

Just last week, I was feeling buoyant as I walked along the city streets to meet a friend. I was enjoying the warm late-summer breezes and anticipating a nice meal and great conversation at a brand new restaurant. As I was taking in the scenery along the water of the Puget Sound, I noticed a female about my age sitting on the sidewalk holding a sign asking for help. My first reaction was to reach into my pocket and with compassion give her a few dollars. But then you chimed in. You interrupted my feelings of kindness with warnings of danger. Before I could reach into my purse, I heard you say, "What if other needy people see you giving this woman a handout? They'll want money too. You'll be surrounded by people asking for help. You can't give to all of them. What if they become upset with you for helping her and not them? You're a woman walking the city streets alone. It's dangerous to give her money." By then I had walked past this woman, but my peaceful walk in the beautiful city had been ruined. It had been replaced with feelings of judgment and guilt. I was judging myself as foolish for choosing to walk the few miles to the restaurant rather than taking safe available transportation, and I was feeling guilt for being a selfish individual who had enough money to go out to dinner in a nice restaurant but didn't help someone in need.

Because of you, Mind, I changed the way I saw myself and everyone around me. In the beginning, I was a bright spirit taking in the joys of the day among lovely people along the waterfront of my favorite city. But then, you took over and I became a selfish woman who didn't have the sense to protect herself in a dangerous world. Why did I give you that kind of power...again? Why did I get into a dialogue with you...again? I've practiced meditation and mindfulness for years. And yet, you were still able to engage me in one of your tirades.

Here's my warning to you, Mind. My intention is to silence you. Each time you speak up I intend to see you for what you are, just a producer of emotional stories that disrupt my peace and harmony. I choose to experience compassion and love with my fellow beings. I can't do that with your judgmental voice of doom. You'll just have to go! Sayonara!